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Begging...
2 min read
I'm tired of it.
I can't believe it's even allowed.
That is all.
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This just broke my heart
2 min read
So, I was idly reading through some comments made to that particular Hyperbole and a Half post. I was feeling very not-alone in having suffered from depression, and I was feeling very hopeful, because so many of the comments were filled with support, acceptance, recovery, hope, and strength.
Then I read this:
Anonymous said...
That very last bit is just about the saddest, loneliest thing I've ever read. I ache for her.
Then I read this:
Anonymous said...
This happened to me, almost exactly, when I moved to a new city with my husband. And I'm still stuck in the middle of it, except my husband got tired and resentful of sad me and he left. And now it's just me, with my paralyzing sadness, in a city I hate, and I wish someone could help me.
May 9, 2013 at 5:19 PM
That very last bit is just about the saddest, loneliest thing I've ever read. I ache for her.
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Why do I do this?
4 min read
Seriously, why?
It doesn't make sense.
I lose days and days to 'The Nothing', like they're being eaten away by that thing from The NeverEnding Story.
Oh right, you don't know what I'm doing yet: I'm basically fucking up my sleeping pattern.
I want to pretend that it's because my right knee is borked at the moment, so I can't be active enough to get really tired, but that's just not really true.
I don't know why I do it.
How I do it: It all starts off some normal point. Like I get up at 7am, the day passes, 11pm happens, and I start to feel tired. Then...
Then I stay up. I watch TV. Not that there's good stuff on, but there'll be something tolerable. I also derp around the Internet.
3am happens, and I go to bed, too tired to follow the lamest tv show, but can't really sleep.
2pm happens.
Yes, that's in the afternoon. I slept until 2pm.
I lie in bed wondering how freaking 2pm is going towards 3pm, and I somehow lost most of the day.
Procrastination happens in the form of an excuse. I tell myself that "I don't need to do anything practical today, or even go outside. It's too late for anything anyway"
And, of course, when night time comes around, I'm wide awake. And so, I don't sleep until around 4 or 5 am.
Repeat ad nauseum.
For some reason, I get stuck in this rut.
So, to break out, I have to stay awake all night, then all day, and end up really tired when a sensible bed-time rolls around.
But it's hard, and it leads to an even worse rut, because I can't stay awake for a full night and then a full day, so I fall asleep round 8 - 10am, and wake up around 5pm.
And there it is.
I'm stuck in some night-time existence, where I can't make my brain work constructively (no job applications, no art, no truth-telling to people who care about me), only living inside my apartment really quietly because my downstairs neighbor sleeps at night like a normal person.
And I'm doing an all-nighter now. It's 5:47am, and there's only about an hour of tolerable TV to go before the manic children's programs start.
I have to stay awake today. I have to stay awake even though today will also be a complete waste, because of how tired I am. If I manage, I'll be so very tired that I'll go to bed at 10pm, and be normal.
I really do have to.
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One lazy Monday, I told no-one that I was going anywhere.
But I did! The weather was perfect, and I wanted to get out into it.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The little town of Lønstrup is one of the most beautifully situated towns in coastal Denmark.
Obviously, I took some pictures. What I uploaded is entirely unedited, because it wasn't just that Monday that was lazy.
My fave:
Anyway, after wading through three pages of the utter shit and 'not actually new'- posts over in the Welcome Center, I finally found two legit new artists (on dA anyway) whose work I could stand to look at. (Fucking animé crap everywhere...)
Presenting
and 
Take a look, and go visit their pages!
But I did! The weather was perfect, and I wanted to get out into it.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The little town of Lønstrup is one of the most beautifully situated towns in coastal Denmark.
Obviously, I took some pictures. What I uploaded is entirely unedited, because it wasn't just that Monday that was lazy.
My fave:
Anyway, after wading through three pages of the utter shit and 'not actually new'- posts over in the Welcome Center, I finally found two legit new artists (on dA anyway) whose work I could stand to look at. (Fucking animé crap everywhere...)
Presenting
and Take a look, and go visit their pages!
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I took a bunch of pictures
2 min read
And some of them turned out rather pretty!
My fave:
As per usual, I also had a bunch of pictures of the guinea pigs, but nothing worth showing here.
My fave:
As per usual, I also had a bunch of pictures of the guinea pigs, but nothing worth showing here.
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Featured
Begging... by Svataben, journal
Begging...
:thumb175800825:
I'm tired of it.
I can't believe it's even allowed.
That is all.
This just broke my heart by Svataben, journal
This just broke my heart
So, I was idly reading through some comments made to that particular Hyperbole and a Half post. I was feeling very not-alone in having suffered from depression, and I was feeling very hopeful, because so many of the comments were filled with support, acceptance, recovery, hope, and strength.
Then I read this:
Anonymous said...
This happened to me, almost exactly, when I moved to a new city with my husband. And I'm still stuck in the middle of it, except my husband got tired and resentful of sad me and he left. And now it's just me, with my paralyzing sadness, in a city I hate, and I wish someone could help me.
May 9, 2013 at 5:19 PM
That
Why do I do this? by Svataben, journal
Why do I do this?
Seriously, why?
It doesn't make sense.
I lose days and days to 'The Nothing', like they're being eaten away by that thing from The NeverEnding Story.
Oh right, you don't know what I'm doing yet: I'm basically fucking up my sleeping pattern.
I want to pretend that it's because my right knee is borked at the moment, so I can't be active enough to get really tired, but that's just not really true.
I don't know why I do it.
How I do it: It all starts off some normal point. Like I get up at 7am, the day passes, 11pm happens, and I start to feel tired. Then...
Then I stay up. I watch TV. Not that there's good stuff on, but there'll be somethin
I took some pics! Found new deviants to promote! by Svataben, journal
I took some pics! Found new deviants to promote!
One lazy Monday, I told no-one that I was going anywhere.
But I did! The weather was perfect, and I wanted to get out into it.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The little town of Lønstrup is one of the most beautifully situated towns in coastal Denmark.
Obviously, I took some pictures. What I uploaded is entirely unedited, because it wasn't just that Monday that was lazy. :la:
My fave:
:bigthumb379150476:
Anyway, after wading through three pages of the utter shit and 'not actually new'- posts over in the Welcome Center, I finally found two legit new artists (on dA anyway) whose work I could stand to look at. (Fucking animé cr